Heartache

Heartache isn't always about someone rejecting you, sometimes it's you missing god, or you feeling depressed inside. I absolutely hate when people act like depression is just sadness, depression hurts your heart to the extent of wanting to die because death seems to be so much easier than to fight the pain of your heart. but what people don't understand is that when you read the bible, or you just jump straight into god that heartache stops hurting so badly. today my heart hurt like hell, I wanted to just go to sleep and wake up happy again, but that isn't always possible. but this time I didn't want to die because I know what is on the other side of this pain. I never thought I would be the one to hurt someone's feeling and today that happened and I didn't even KNOW I did it. I was so ashamed of myself because I never in my wildest dreams knew I was capable of that, this is a huge learning curve for me, I have to be careful with my words because I grew up with a certain type of humor that my dad used to put people down and I see that happening in me on accident. its so hard to control sometimes but I have to.


Lots of Love,
Mak