Manipulation

Something that surprises me is how manipulative my dad can be. he can make you hate him then love him. it is truly awful and mind altering. because of this I now have major trust issues. even after I moved out of his house he still had control over me. recently I told him I won't be speaking to him for a year, it was very empowering and I feel so much better now. he no longer has a hold on me and he cant hurt me anymore, I recently found out that he went on a retreat with one of my leaders from church. he made that guy love him, he knows what my dad did to us but somehow he still manipulated him into loving him. It is awfully sad but also truly amazing because if he was being honest he could be a great father. father is a word for someone who takes care of you and loves you unconditionally, and who will protect you. none of those words even relate to my dad. recently I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will never have that on this earth. but god will always be that for me.